Updated: Nov 21, 2018
Failure has happened to everyone, even the best of humanity.
The sinking feeling of not hitting our goal or target.
The punch-in-the-gut when we let down our family, friends, or boss.
The anxiousness of knowing you have to admit that you did something wrong and that you made a mistake.
How do we move on?
How do we keep failure from becoming our master and dominating our lives? How do we keep it from entering our life again tomorrow or next week?
And most importantly: Is there anything we can learn from our failures?
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Yes, we can move on; yes, we can live without fear of failure; and yes, we can learn from our past mistakes!
Whether you messed up a job proposal, hurt your family, had trouble finding an alternative to AA that worked, or simply goofed up; here are 3 ways you can use that failure to move you forward instead of backward.
And on our next post, we will provide a few practical ways that we can learn from failure.
Let Failure Refine You Instead of Define You
Think of your character and person as a piece of gold in the earth. You want people to see your “heart of gold,” but that means the impurities that are mixed in need to be removed.
And how do you purify gold?
You have to apply high heat and burn off the impurities. Ouch!
The initial process is not fun, but the result is a pure piece of gold that is worth much more than when it had impurities mixed with it.
Failure can be a similar experience for you. After all, you don’t see a person’s true character or personality until they are faced with some failure or hard experiences, right?
When you are faced with failure, you have a choice to make.
You can choose to let failure conquer and define you. You can choose to enter each day with your head low and expect to simply fail again. You can choose a vicious cycle of failure.
Or, you can choose to let failure refine you like a piece of gold. You can choose to learn from the mistake, pick yourself up, and move on!
But you do need to choose, and if you don’t make your own choice, failure will choose the path for you…
Let Failure Be Your Teacher, Not Your Undertaker
Denis Waitley said, “Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is a delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”
Did you catch that last part?
Failure is going to happen to everyone; you can only avoid it by refusing to live life itself.
As a result, we as humans are all shaped by how we respond to our failures. If we refuse to learn from our mistakes, then failure will destroy our lives and who we are as a person. As a result, it becomes our undertaker.
However, if we are determined to have failure be our teacher, then we will pick ourselves up, learn from our mistakes, and keep moving forward!
Check our blog post next month for some practical ways to learn from our failures…
Take Responsibility for Your Failures Instead of Blaming Others
This is what really separates the winners from the losers, the back-stabbers from the team players, the successful people from the stagnant people, and the true leaders from the dictators.
If you really want to grow during your failure, then take responsibility for your mistakes.
If you develop a habit of blaming others or your team for failures and mistakes, you will quickly become known as a negative person and a backstabber.
How does that path end?
You will soon find that people will have trouble trusting you, and most people will not want to work closely with you or respect your ideas. After all, they know if something goes wrong, you will probably end up blaming them for the issue.
However, if you are known as the person who takes responsibility for your mistakes, you will quickly find that people will trust you and want to work with you.
You will quickly find many more open doors in your career, your family, and your leadership.
Overall, your sphere of influence will begin to grow!
And the best part?
To reach this outcome, you don’t need to bribe people or lie or cheat. You simply have to accept your mistakes, take responsibility, and learn from them.
Now that we’ve established the fact that we don’t want to be failures, in the next post we will discuss practical ways to put these points into action. You don’t want to miss it!
And if you are looking for personal coaching to move past your failures, contact Accept and Conquer today. As an alternative to AA, their mission is to help you succeed where others fail.