Updated: Nov 21, 2018
Did you ever wonder if everyone is out to get you in life?
Do you ever have the feeling that life is cruel game made of two teams: you versus everyone else?
Many people feel scared, threatened, abused, or attacked by others; and the result is that many turn to something that helps them escape this feeling and feel safe. This is not always bad, but sadly many people turn to substance abuse to reach this safety.
So how can we change the tide?
How can we “get along” with more people? What can we do so that more people like us and enjoy being with us?
Whether you are free from substance abuse, trying to break free, or seeking alternatives to AA and other similar programs; here are 5 simple things that you can do daily to be more likeable as a person.
Oh, and a bonus to being more liked?
You will also be happier, have a more positive view of life, have more chances for promotions, and probably have a better salary.
That sounds pretty good, doesn’t it? Let’s get started!
Smile when you talk to others
We have all called a support line and talked to a receptionist or service rep. We expect the normal flow of conversation and voice tones.
But have you ever talked to one that you knew was smiling?
How did your view of that person change? How did your view of the company or service change? And more importantly, how did your interaction on the phone call go better because of it?
Smiling when you talk to people, especially in person (but also on the phone), will automatically make you more likeable. People will view as being positive and in a good mood.
The result will be that people will be more willing to talk to you and serve you better, simply because you are willing to smile to them!
Somewhere along our cultural lines, we lost much of our basic human respect for each other in terms of basic courtesy.
Whether you are in the office, on the street, or in a public space; using basic courtesy is the best way to be polite, and people will notice the difference in you.
What are basic courtesies that you can use?
Say “Please,” “Thank you,” and “You’re welcome” frequently
Hold the door for people entering the same room
Look at people when having a conversation
Don’t let your phone control you in public spaces
Use encouraging positive words to others
Use people’s names
This one can be harder, especially if you are constantly meeting new people, but it will make you stand out in a good way.
As humans, we naturally look out for ourselves first. As a result, when we hear our name, or when someone uses our name when talking to us, we take notice, and usually in a good way.
But what if you struggle to remember names?
There are a few things you can do. The first is write the name down in your phone or on a business card, along with a few notes about the person. When you meet them later, if you can remember their name and their child’s name, you are on the fast track to making a great impression!
Another way to help remember names is to repeat their name back to them in the conversation several times. Don’t overdue this one, but using their name a few times, especially when you say good-bye, will help the person know that you care about them enough to remember their name.
Be interested in the other person
In today’s culture with technology in our ears, in our pockets, and on our wrists; there is no better way to have people genuinely notice and like you than simply focusing on them.
We have all experienced the 2 scenarios:
Scenario 1: Your friend is obviously distracted by his phone. They don’t look at you, answer in short phrases, occasionally respond to messages on their phone, and when they leave you can tell they don’t remember much of what you discussed.
Scenario 2: Your friend puts his phone in his pocket and ignores it even when it buzzes with a notification. He looks you in the eye, nods and confirms your speech, and asks good questions.
These 2 scenarios aren’t even worth comparing, are they?
If you want to be more likable, only you can choose to be more like the friend in scenario 2...
Try to understand their point of view
When you are talking with others, one of the best ways to be more likable is to make an effort to understand the others’ point of view.
Many people will begin looking bored or get a glazed look in their eye if a conversation goes too long.
Or if there is a discussion or argument, they make no effort to understand your argument or main points.
On the other hand, if you can focus on what others say (even if it takes effort) and repeat their ideas back to them, they will quickly see that you truly want to understand them.
This sometimes takes a lot of effort, but the result will be that people will enjoy talking with you and spending time with you in discussion.
If you are finding your life on a path where you feel like you have nothing of value to add to others, don’t get discouraged! These 5 things will help you present yourself to others in a way that will make a better impression.
Also, if you are looking for a fresh start to life, an alternative to AA, or personal life coaching; then please contact us at Accept & Conquer today.